| GROWL |
[Saturday
February 26th, 2005 at 5:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
You know what pisses me off most? You leaving before I can fucking finish. So here it is, where everybody and their brother can see it, and I don't give a damn what you have to say to it.
If, for once in your life, you'd actually stop and consider things, GUESS WHAT, YOU ARE EXTREMELY LUCKY. She could hate you. She could have ran off with someone else. Or a shitload of other things. But no, she's willing to be friends with you, fine, that's good, that's how you started out. But it's not fucking good enough for you, is it? You just have to keep pushing it, so selfishly wanting more more more, like a spoiled child, that you don't even realize what you have. Maybe that's just how I see it and you have your reasons, but did it ever cross your mind that maybe she's going through shit, too? Probably not. I mean, for awhile I thought, yeah, he got it, but no, it's just back to me, me, me, I want, I want, I want. If friendship isn't fucking good enough for you, then you're in for a serious reality check, because the way life goes, you don't get what you want. Ever. It doesn't work that way, and never has, and never will.
And just for once in your life I wish you'd shut up, stop, and think about that.
This is horribly mean and bitchy, but when someone logs off on me at five AM before I can finish my fucking point, this is what happens. Kiara gets very, very, very pissed off. Sorry. <3
Changing journals soon, by the way.
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|
| HAHAHAHA. |
[Monday
February 21st, 2005 at 6:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
Front page of this morning's newspaper. XD
http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/anchorage/story/6196493p-6070768c.html
Surgeons reattached an Anchorage man's penis over the weekend after his girlfriend, apparently upset over a pending breakup, cut it off with a kitchen knife, Anchorage police said Sunday.
A city wastewater utility worker recovered the penis from a toilet down which the woman had flushed it. It was rushed to Providence Alaska Medical Center, where doctors performed reattachment surgery early Sunday morning, according to police reports.
Rofl.
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| shabang |
[Monday
February 21st, 2005 at 12:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Go Your Own Way // Fleetwood Mac |
] |
Exactly twenty-four hours since the last update.
Surprisingly, I feel happier than I have in days... most probably because I've finally got that huge weight off my mind. Sure, it hurts, but when I think about it? If he hadn't told me, then it would have come out later in a much more hurtful way. Now that I'm done being woe-is-me, I'm glad it got cleared up.
Bike needs to attack jerks on channel. >:/
I'm working on a photography gallery. LOLOLOLOL.
Small update, mwah. <3
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| Craptacular. |
[Sunday
February 20th, 2005 at 12:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sunny Came Home // Not sure |
] |
I think if my stomach could commit suicide it would be seriously considering the option right about now. I'm fairly sure my core body temperature has dropped a good deal.
And BOY, do I feel stupid.
Here we are, prancing along a road we've walked before, KNOWING that we ended up getting bulldozed into a ditch, but we don't care, oh no, because things have changed, yup. Dun't matter what happened before, because we have signs now! Big bright shiny flashy neon colored signs! Apparently I can't read very well, because once again, bulldozer came and went. I'm still numb from the impact but the fact that I can't even force myself to sleep whilst feeling the most exhausted I have in months must mean something. Some kind of sign. Whoops, I can't read, forgot.
/emo
I've got so many people doing me ports, it's not even funny, and I keep forgetting, sooo... list time.
Silvvy - Free, although I need to pay that girl, she's like an angel or something.
Bikasaurus - Need to pay her too. Won't take no for an answer, suggestion or hint.
Safrin - Done, payed, luff.
Spraypaint - Gots wings, needsa wait now. Waitwait. Yay.
If there's anybody else, I forgot 'em. 'Cept Maymay, but she's like... doing it whenever. Fine with me. Oh, and Kuuhaku is drawing me.
Yes I am a portrait whore. Look ma, no hands. I need to sell my gryffe and figure out what to do with other stuffs and blerk.
Watched full first season of Charmed. Mom found out due to sisser's moronicness, kicked ass, whatever. Got reading back from teacher, A+, feel special. Still stupidest.
I'm just ending this, I feel so incredibly whinyassed right now.
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|
| Okay.. |
[Friday
February 18th, 2005 at 1:37pm] |
I can take a hint. Even if said hint hurts like hell.
Maybe I've just been seeing things that aren't there, reading into it too well. Maybe I'm just a moron to think someone like that would ever have feelings for someone like me, especially considering I'm not the most angelic person I know. For some reason I let my mind trick me into seeing things that aren't there, and that scares me - what else have I been 'seeing'? How much more do I 'understand'?
I need to grow up.
Edit: Emo over. Back to your regularly happy Kali.
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[Monday
February 14th, 2005 at 5:13am] |
|
Happy Valentine's Day. :o
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| Life is like a box of chocolates... |
[Friday
February 11th, 2005 at 4:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nuffin, haven't bothered to turn on any music. |
] |
Someone ate all mine.
You'd think for once in your life, something could go right. Oh, in a relationship, everything's fine and has been, so... it looks like this time the road might actually be a highway, a new one, smooth as a baby's ass. Oh, but ho! A problem has arisin! Oh, no problem, just a small bump, right? We can get through it together, can't we. Why is it that this bump has taken on a life of it's own and become a mountain? Whatever happened to love conquers all? Ain't no mountain high enough? Well, whatever. I never liked that singer's voice anyways.
When something like this happens, you're supposed to learn something. I'm trying to figure out what I've learned. It seems in this case, common sense and logic have collided and turned into something that's obviously of no help at all. And then there's all these what if's and maybe's and all that... not this time. I'm not going to let it get to me this time. Not when, in this particular play in life, I was playing the wrong character at the wrong time, and should never have been center stage. Just filling in for someone else who can do the job better. Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on.
On a lighter note.. it snowed. Like twenty inches. I hope my mom's okay, being that she'll be gone until eleven. I hopity hope hope. Lah.
I recently finished the book 'Wyrd Sisters' by Terry Pratchett.. his writing never fails to amuse and amaze me. And in fact... I think after this I'll go read a bit of 'Pyramids', or watch a movie or something. I highly recommend his books to you. k.
Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert. :)
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| Christdamn. |
[Wednesday
February 9th, 2005 at 10:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Confused, angry, upset. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I punched the radio and it stopped working. Don't care. |
] |
It seems to me, I'll never fucking be good enough.
...
No matter who I try to be.
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| It's like everlasting bubblegum!.. Except not. |
[Monday
February 7th, 2005 at 7:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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headache, yo. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Singing that milkshake song in a horrid R rated parody. |
] |
Yeah, so... I've had a headache since 9 AM this morning. It's now 7:20 PM. Needless to say, my head is now pounding in a protest to the pounding. Shitmuffins.
My mom told me a few days ago that, apparently, anything you get addicted to is bad for you. So I'm trying to prove her wrong. Except it can't be normal bodily fuctions (breathing, living, sleeping, etc.). Harr, this outta be fun. ...
I've been working on schoolwork for the past.. forever... it seems anyways. I've got half of the Science stuff done. I'll tell you right now: It's boring. The only interesting part was when I was examining things through the microscope, but now it's all worksheets, and it sucks a sad amount of suckage. Hence the headache. I can't even hardly think, let alone do this crap, but it's supposed to be done tomorrow. Do it, and suffer insanity and a low grade because I can't hardly function, or don't do it and suffer my mom's and teacher's wraths?... Right now neither is horribly appealing.
Mostly just updating to let people know that I am indeed alive, and pretty well - 'Lin's like.. this awesome happy drug that never runs out of supply, and talks and such, too! <3 And I am a hopeless addict. :D
I need to clean things.
|
|
| And it was all KABLAM, and... what? |
[Friday
February 4th, 2005 at 10:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blerk |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Best Thing // Savage Garden |
] |
I do believe today has been a series of WTF moments.
I think a WTF post is in order.
Meaning I hereby declare this a WTF post.
K?
K.
|
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| 1. Yeah, I need you like I need a hole in the head. Mm, holes. |
[Thursday
February 3rd, 2005 at 3:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
EMO RADEEOH MUZAK LOLZ. |
] |
The past few days have been a random mix of joy and utter depression. Why? ... Ask that chicken, the one who crossed the road. I bet he's roadkill now, but whatever.
I talked to my mom about my sister being the failure ad so she expected me to graduate and do great things and become Robin to her Batman. It didn't really phase her when I told her this, but she went into one of those rants like, 'I don't want to see you end up like that you have such a bright future please don't throw it all away' blah blah bullshit. I can't stay pissed at her for long, but I wish she'd stop seeing me as the younger child. I have my own hopes and dreams, and they include french vanilla ice cream at the moment.
So like, ranty time. My brother-in-law lost his job. Why? I don't know, family gossip hasn't reached my ears yet. But something I find funny is. My sister told my mom that they (they being herself, her husband, and her kid, not that he's old enough to count, but yeah) don't use any electricity, when my mom had to pay 360 bucks for electric this month. Hm, this is funny, considering that while they haven't had enough money to eat, since they've been here they've bought clothes, a shitload of DVD's and CD's, a DVD player, a brand new television, a PlayStation 2, games for that, books up the ass, two inflatable beds, a bunch of 'occult' stuff, eaten out TONS of times, and that's just the stuff I know about. They only just recently started giving their kid formula, you know, the stuff with nutrients designed to make the kid able to think and stuff? Yeah. And he just turned a year old in the middle of last month. They're so selfish. They take showers here, wash their clothes here, but hardly ever ask. They use our oven, our microwave, without asking - they don't even say thank you for letting us stay here for almost a year without paying you anything, no, hell no, they just take it for granted that we owe it to them to house them and allow them to jack up our bills without paying us a cent. Her husband is an Indian, k. No, I have nothing against Indians, but he himself told us to our faces that he spent most of his life on a reservation, doing whatever he wanted, living off the government. He WAS a waiter at a local Mexican restaurant, but his dream job is to be a DJ. Uhm, okay, that's nice and all, but... HE HAS A WIFE AND KID TO SUPPORT. While he's out there buying movies and CD's and hardware and crap, they're spending more time living in a room hardly large enough for one person, let alone two adults and a kid. In a way I don't mind my mom not wanting me to end up this way, but... BLERK. They piss me off beyond comprehension. Blah. New subject.
We got the first season of Charmed on DVD. -glee- So if I'm afked lots, that's why. <3333 Charmy Charmed, lerky-woo.
My internet has been wonky lately. It'll be fine and then randomly disconnect me whenever it feels like, instead of once every twelve hours. This annoys me, because when I'm idle on Furc and such, I can't stay idle, because I get disconnected. Which makes Furc all wonky and takes MSN off away and it's just so damn annoying. C'est la vie I suppose. -plots to bomb ISP-
Anyways, off I go to pine for ice cream.
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xikali's journal
